When acceptance becomes detrimental
I’ve recently begun intermittent fasting and trying to change the way I eat as a whole. I’m hoping that this may trigger some much needed weight loss. You may be wondering how this has anything to do with acceptance.
When it came to my decision to attempt to lose weight, I was constantly bombarded with being told to be comfortable in my body and love the way I looked. At 6 foot 3 and 120kg I am comfortably in the obese category in terms of BMI, and yes I know that this is not an accurate indication of health and body composition but I’m hoping this may help to illustrate my point.
The concept of body confidence is “challenging oneself to accept and eventually love who you are today, just as you are instead of the visceral need for perfection” - Forbes
I agree with this concept but up to a point. To use obesity as an example, I truly believe in one being comfortable and accepting of the body shape they have, but there’s no arguing that obesity can lead to a plethora of medical conditions that will undoubtedly impact your life. This may range from diabetes to heart disease, joint disease, respiratory disease and even cancer. You may even find yourself experiencing all the conditions above.
I believe that we should always love the person we are today, but not accept that this is how we should remain. We must be able to make decisions on who we would like to become, particularly when the facts in front of us point to a better version of us where we are undoubtedly happier. Losing weight is a tough process and there’s no shortcut (bariatric surgery is still pretty rough), so it is sometimes easier for us to just accept and remain who we are because the better version of us is too hard to achieve. If you would prefer to remain as you are and avoid the hardships needed for a better you then that is totally fine, and you deserve no judgement, but surely you should champion others to take the other route and not find a need to bring everyone to your way of thinking. You’re doing that because you haven’t truly accepted yourself yet.
I’ve seen this concept of acceptance in other areas, particularly in medicine. In medicine we have guidelines, such as the NICE guidelines, that support clinical decision making. I need to emphasise support. There are many health professionals who rely on guidelines to cover their backs and in turn forget that each patient is unique. What works for one person may not for the other. This surrender to guidelines is cowardly, and yes we should accept them and have them in the back of our minds, but too often doctors choose to ignore their clinical judgement and fall back on these guidelines. You’ve effectively come to work and left your brain at home.
Acceptance is an important part of not being at war with yourself on a daily basis, but settling does not mean the same thing. We should strive to accept and understand our current situation, but we are in charge of the actions we have beyond this. Enjoy challenging yourself and be intentional with the decisions you make, you may not be in control of the situation you are in but you are in control of the actions you take.
