I don’t know what to do
"I don't know what to do.”
I have used these words far too much. I'm not going to sit here and tell you the life hack to knowing what decisions to make and when to make them. Anyone who tries to hasn't got a clue on the advice they are giving; they're just telling you what works for them. I have had plenty of situations where I have made decisions that have altered the course of my life, and others that have led me to ordering an americano instead of a flat white (an age-old problem for me). The aim here is that I'm going to give you my thoughts on not knowing what to do. Finding the formula for making the decision is down to you. Having said all this, I don't know where to start, but let's have a go.
The different decision makers
In my eyes, there are decision makers and those that follow decisions. Far better to be the decision maker than to be a follower; having control over what happens to you leaves you with much less suspense than not. But some people are content riding the wave; more often than not, they are content with what they're given or worse, complain about what they don't have. Please, please don't give me a long rant about gratitude; that's a totally different concept, and if you're persistent on the gratitude argument, then I'm sure you're content riding the wave; don't bother reading this. Make the decisions. Decide on what you want and become deserving of it. Don't wait for things to come to you. If you haven't realised, they won't.
The approach
Firstly, come to the realisation that you don't know what to do. Pride likes to creep up here because no one wants to admit they haven't got a clue about what they're doing. I used to want to be the person who always knew what I was doing. People would ask, and I'd have an answer, but to be honest, that was me trying to avoid looking like a fool. I'm content being the person who doesn't know. I'm figuring it out, and I'm not going to expend any energy trying to convince someone else that I know what I'm doing. I don't, and they shouldn't care.
The list
I don't mean a physical list. They stress me out and get me into all sorts of confusion. I like to be aware of my situation, and I sit with it. I keep it at the forefront of my mind, and as I go on with my day, months, years, I think to myself, 'What do I really want to do?' I consider the possible outcomes, and I see what aligns better with me. Do I want to feel a bit more alert, taste something bitter, and enjoy a coffee that aligns with my calories? I'll have the americano. But if I want to sip on something a bit sweeter, I'll go for the flat white. Okay, that's a terrible example because I'll almost always go for the americano, but I love that dark, bitter taste and the way it sits after I drink it; that outcome far outweighs the flat white.
The gut
Don't be afraid of what your gut is saying. If the list doesn't work, it's so easy to follow the crowd. I've rarely had no outcome from the list and no hints from my gut. Actually, that's never been the case. Trust your decision. Just because you don't know exactly what you want, it's not a reason to get in someone else's car and go to the destination they're going to. What they are doing serves them, not you.
It's simple. Be the decision maker, take ownership of your decisions, and don't cave in and go with what someone else wants. It won't serve you.
In short (because people love a list):
Recognise uncertainty
Take ownership
Reflect on the decision
Trust your gut
Avoid peer pressure
Embrace the uncertainty
Allow yourself to grow.
