I’ve decided not to go to graduation

I’ve Decided Not to Go to Graduation

Some decisions build quietly over years. This was one of them.

I am not going to my medical school graduation. And the longer I sit with that, the more certain I am it is the right call.

I have graduated before. After my biochemistry degree in Aberdeen, on a summer’s day with King’s College as the backdrop, my closest friends there even though it wasn’t their day, my family together on the lawn, me looking out from that stage and finding their faces and waving. That was my graduation. It was complete. I did not know it then, but I was storing something I would carry for a long time.

This one would not be that. My family would not be there, and I would rather spend that time at home in Egypt – with my grandparents who are getting older, with people who have loved me far longer than any institution has. Before FY1 begins and life accelerates in the way I know it is about to, that time matters more to me than a gown and a stage.

The honest truth about my time at ARU is that it contained two very different experiences running alongside each other. There was real darkness – discrimination, exploitation, betrayal, people who would undermine you without hesitation and smile while doing it. I will not dress that up. It happened and it was ugly and I am glad it is behind me.

But there was also something else. A small group of people who became genuinely important to me. We were honest with each other, looked out for each other, and fought for each other when it mattered. They were not a consolation prize for a difficult environment – they were the reason I got through it. Without them I do not reach this point. They know who they are and they know what they mean to me. I have told them to enjoy graduation fully, with their families and the people who supported them. I will be watching and cheering them on, genuinely.

But walking across that stage alongside everyone else – including people who made those years harder than they needed to be – is not something I have any desire to do. That chapter is closed. I am not carrying it forward.

I think this post is for anyone who has ever found themselves on the outside of a group they were supposed to belong to. Who got through it not by pretending it was fine, but by finding the few people who made it bearable and holding on to them. You do not need the ceremony. You just need to know what the experience actually gave you and leave the rest behind.

I came to ARU with a dream of becoming a doctor. I leave as one. That is the only thing that ever mattered.

Thank you Chelmsford. Thank you ARU. Through the good and through the dark, it was worth it