Influenced by friends

I have thought about my life so far, and although I take ownership of the decisions that have brought me to this point, I can certainly see the impact that the people I surround myself with have had in every step of my journey. 

If I had not been surrounded by ambitious, hard working friends who on a daily basis graft for the success they have achieved, I would not have contemplated completely changing my career path, and embarking upon the arduous journey of a third degree in Medicine. 

There have of course been many occasions where I have been disappointed in my actions, allowing myself to have been influenced by others to be unkind or to procrastinate. But this is where the power of discernment is of the utmost importance. 

I have been able to observe the negative influence of friends in other people too. I watched a close friend become affected by a single toxic relationship, where they were exploited and forced to stay through guilt, and they soon began failing exams, considering dropping out of their degree and feeling completely helpless. Some time later, after finding the courage to move away from the situation, they started to fall back in love their degree and score top grades. They also started to establish and nurture true friendships. 

These events made me evaluate my own relationships (I used a relationship circle diagram if you’re interested) and made me realise I was holding onto relationships that were causing more harm than good. It’s difficult to understand why I would hold onto these relationships, perhaps it became more habitual than anything, but having moved into a new environment after this reflection (medical school), I have tried to consistently surround myself with people who edify me, and whom I also can edify. 

No doubt you have heard that “you are the average of your five closest friends.”  I think this highlights the importance of being selective with whom you are vulnerable with, and also the need for appropriate boundaries. 

In my personal experience, it has been easier for me to accept people into my circle, who have inflicted negative situations on me than have the courage to take a step back. It’s been easier to keep everyone happy, even at the expense of my own happiness. 

It takes bravery to walk away from a relationship that does not positively influence you. Don’t underestimate the growth and happiness that can be found when stepping away from those negative relationships. 

Thank you to Yasmin for dealing with my awful grammar.